Effexor XR and six months

I was first diagnosed with depression when i was 18 years old. For 9 years i was on all different types of medication but for a majority of the time i was on Effexor xr. I remember when i missed a dose, just feeling so bad i would just want to go to bed but when i took the next dose it wouldn't take long to get back to normal. My memory has been shocking. So bad that i have trouble remembering what happened when my children were babies. I don't know if this is because of the meds or the depression. My father committed suicide during the time i was on effexor and i just could not grieve. I felt that when i cried i was just forcing it. I just didn't feel many emotions at all. My life took a turn after that and i had so much going on that i either didn't have any trouble coming off it or i just don't remember what it was like.
At the start of this year my life was very full and happy and i was so busy until one day i just felt as though i was going to die. For a week i sat in the emergency department at the hospital certain i was going to die and leave my three children without a mother. I was finally diagnosed with a panic disorder. I didn't care what they did i just wanted them to make it stop.(the way i was feeling) I was put lexapro but had a bad reaction to that so they put me back on effexor xr. I can only say thank god! I have been on it now for almost six months and i have decided to come off it again as i feel my life is back in control. The main side effects i have had this time on this medication have been, a definite decrease in sexual function, deep sleep, vivid dreams and my pupils are dilating differently. I have over the last week decreased my dose from 75mls a day to 37.5. I really don't remember going through all these side effects last time. I was on a much higher dose before too. I have had the worst migraines, i am so tired, my eyes sting, i have what i guess others have described as shocks. When i move my head or blink my eyes it feels like i get a shock in my head. I feel like i am looking through a tunnel sometimes too. Although i had this same feeling when i was first put back on the meds. Yes it is tough coming off it this time but i still don't regret taking it in the first place. Without it i may still be feeling the worst feelings i have ever felt in my life and i wouldn't wish it on anyone. The effects i am getting now are not even a glimpse of what i went through before i started.

I was put on Effexor XR 75mg two years ago. After about a year on it, i decided i needed a stronger dose, so I was increased to 150mg. I felt happier than I ever have, but about six months in I started experiencing side effects. I have very vivid dreams. When they are good dreams, they are wonderful, but more often they are horrible nightmares, the most vivid nightmares you will ever experience in your life. This is the only real side effect, but it is bad enough i am thinking about discontinuing the medication. I know that the higher the dose of a medicine, the more side effects there are. There were no side effects at 75mg, but i felt more depressed than at 150mg. I also sometimes have other milder symptoms, but I also have hypoglycemia, so I don't know if the effects are from the medication or just a sugar drop.