i am a highschool student and have been taking geodon off and on ...

i am a highschool student and have been taking geodon off and on for at least 6 months, i got BPD and have been on other stuff but this is the only one i will put up with, after being on it at least 6 months i still could not wake up in the morning, when i get up my eyes start rollin around the back of my head and i cant stay awake , i cant walk and i slur my words when i talk, at the most i was taking 20mg morning with 40mg riddlin and at night 20mg geodon, well i got pissed off at the side effects and stoped takin it in the morning. i read up on riddilin and i dont like it being narcodic so i stopped that since its summer and i can sleep a little later. long story short i thought i wasnt bipolar and had no problems this was a big mistake, a month after completly stopping geodon i relized all my close relashonships have been destroyed and blame it on not taking meds. one more thing i noticed though, if anyone gets very parinoid on geodon thats what happend to me and when i got off i wasnt parinoid, its now setting back in, i cant stay in my home alone. but anyways just thought id put my two cents in about that stuff its kinda put me through hell.